The relationship went boom. Maybe with a fizzle, maybe with a whimper, maybe with a slammed doorbut it went. And now you\’re chasing your own self esteem through the crannies of your mind, wondering \”What can I do to get him back?\”
The first one is assessing how serious you are about restarting or boosting your relationship. Now, you wouldn\’t be reading this article if you didn\’t want to do this, but let\’s step back a moment. If you\’re feeling anxious, if you\’re feeling like your world is revolving around your ex, you may be coming across as needy. Nothing, and we do mean nothing, pushes a guy away faster than being needy.
If those are the patterns of your thoughts, then no matter how much you want to rekindle or jump start this relationship, and we know it\’s what you want – or you wouldn\’t be reading this article – it\’s not gonna work. You see, those patterns of actions come off as being clingy and smothering and controlling, and just the same way you\’d back off if he did them to you, he\’s going to run for the hills when you point the \”pity me\” parade at him.
So focus on the things that work.
Think back to the things that made you attractive to him when you first started dating. Focus on those parts of your life that are yours alone, not some adjunct of couplehood, and above all else – cut him (and yourself) some breathing room. Put a notice on your calendar that you won\’t talk to him for a month. You won\’t call him, IM him, text message him, whatever. Then spend that month on some serious \’me\’ time.
By doing this, you should spark a change of heart in your ex. Now that he\’s not fending off your attempts to me miss hyper-clingy pity party, he\’s going to wonder how you\’re doing. (And if he doesn\’t, you\’re better off without him.) He may, in fact, miss you a bit if you do this.
You\’re working with human nature – being a clingy sponge is going to drive any man worth having away – think about it in reverse. If he were moping around and listless because you broke up with him, you\’d think he was annoying as all get out. Same here – don\’t be annoying at him. Get on with your life, grow a spine and let him come back on his own. (Or, alternatively, use this as the time to learn your lessons about relationships, and move on to something better.)
Who knows, maybe with a bit of time to see who you are without the filter of the breakup, his interest will rekindle. Or maybe you\’ll decide he wasn\’t worth all that mess anyway – and you\’ll have learned something about yourself. Either way, keep yourself grounded, focused on the things that make your life fun with nobody else in it and hang out with your buddies. And stop asking \”What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back\”. Oh, and you can put that annoying Alanis Morisette CD back on the rack. It\’s served it\’s purpose.
To get your ex back, you need to follow a strategy that you are set to implement. Follow this link for a proven way to get your ex back and relight the fire under your relationship!
